So, you hang around a website for the better part of a year, not quite sure what it's all about but enjoying the people and digging the discussions. You order a book that arrives in October and then wait patiently for the day, this day to arrive so you can fully jump in and join with the fun after having a blast at trial tasking through the OCD wet dream known as "Live Week". You pluck the book that's been staring at you since the day you got it off the shelf, crack it open to see the task and discover that it is completely irrelevant to you.
I don't own a passport. I will not be participating this week. I thought about sending in the diary itself, as a symbolic gesture that it is my "Passport to Life Change", but that's just sort of desperate isn't it? Even if I did have a passport, it's still not much of a task for the week. Mailing a passport takes what, an hour maybe if your really lazy about it? Continuing the holidays by Wassailing or carolling through out the neighbourhood would of been better, and much more annoying on the public who are probably as sick to death of the holidays as I am.
I'm not giving up hope though. I fully expect Benrik to change my life in 2007. I paid for the book after all, I want my moneys worth. Expect more effort in the future.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
2006-10-30: Blog from the Future 3
It's me again, from the future as I don't plan on tasking until today, Jan 1, 2007! Live week comes to a close and we're all the better for it! I know that the obsessive checking of the site almost put the wiggers on me, but trust me, with what's coming up this year, those of you who participated will be all the better for it! Here's the rest of the things I did back in October during live week.
28. Have a cold shower
Now they're just being mean. It made me feel sick, but I got over it.
29. Read the following passage from the Bible: Corinthians Chapter 12
Done. Talks about how regardless of religion you are all one of Christ? Maybe? Confusing. Is Benrik using this as symbolism that we as followers of the diary are all one body? If so, I called dibs on the big toe on the right.
30. Blow A Kiss To A Stranger
I had just gotten in from socializing, and with the snow there was no way in hell I was going back out there, so I said so phooey on this task.
31. Draw Your Vision Of Heaven
I make it to heaven!
32. Draw your vision of hell
Or maybe I don't.
33. Start Smoking
I had my limits, this is was of them. I said "No thanks Benrik!".
34. Drink Drive around the block
Couldn't do this one either as I was out of booze and didn't own anything with wheels. In your face technology!
35. Break A Plate
Benrik worked all psychic. I dropped a plate clearing breakfast that morning.
36. Breastfeed
no boobs around, so I had to content myself with licking my man nipple. Didn't do much for me... then!
37. Stroke a pet inappropriately
Gave Buster Dog a butt rub. He liked it and got all frisky. Damned gay dog...
38. Tell an enemy your middle name
I PM'd a guy I argue with on another board just my middle name. That should of confused the bastard but he never replied.
39. Go to bed and sleep for a month
I wish I could of. I fantasize about this. I'm not ready to loose my job for Benrik though... yet.
And that was it! Not bad for a first timer if I do say so, and a good warm up to right now! It's Jan 1 so I can officially start the new diary!
This will be my last missive from the future, I don't want to spoil the surprises awaiting you all. Plus people have been asking me things about the future. Have you people not seen "Back to the Future Part 2"? The space time continuum is not a play ground! Notice how I've only posted things that have happened in your time line??
So be good, fellow Benrikians! My present self is all excited to join your ranks in 2007!
Week 1 : Mail you passport to benrik
Fuck that shit....
28. Have a cold shower
Now they're just being mean. It made me feel sick, but I got over it.
29. Read the following passage from the Bible: Corinthians Chapter 12
Done. Talks about how regardless of religion you are all one of Christ? Maybe? Confusing. Is Benrik using this as symbolism that we as followers of the diary are all one body? If so, I called dibs on the big toe on the right.
30. Blow A Kiss To A Stranger
I had just gotten in from socializing, and with the snow there was no way in hell I was going back out there, so I said so phooey on this task.
31. Draw Your Vision Of Heaven
I make it to heaven!
32. Draw your vision of hell
Or maybe I don't.
33. Start Smoking
I had my limits, this is was of them. I said "No thanks Benrik!".
34. Drink Drive around the block
Couldn't do this one either as I was out of booze and didn't own anything with wheels. In your face technology!
35. Break A Plate
Benrik worked all psychic. I dropped a plate clearing breakfast that morning.
36. Breastfeed
no boobs around, so I had to content myself with licking my man nipple. Didn't do much for me... then!
37. Stroke a pet inappropriately
Gave Buster Dog a butt rub. He liked it and got all frisky. Damned gay dog...
38. Tell an enemy your middle name
I PM'd a guy I argue with on another board just my middle name. That should of confused the bastard but he never replied.
39. Go to bed and sleep for a month
I wish I could of. I fantasize about this. I'm not ready to loose my job for Benrik though... yet.
And that was it! Not bad for a first timer if I do say so, and a good warm up to right now! It's Jan 1 so I can officially start the new diary!
This will be my last missive from the future, I don't want to spoil the surprises awaiting you all. Plus people have been asking me things about the future. Have you people not seen "Back to the Future Part 2"? The space time continuum is not a play ground! Notice how I've only posted things that have happened in your time line??
So be good, fellow Benrikians! My present self is all excited to join your ranks in 2007!
Week 1 : Mail you passport to benrik
Fuck that shit....
2006-10-28: Return Of The Blog From The Future! Jan 2007
While days have passed for all of you in 2006, it's only been about an hour for me in the future. I see that my present (your present) self has done a few more tasks, I might as well update his blog from the future for historical purposes.
16. "drink to get drunk"
CAN'T!! he's at work and they drank all the booze on the premisis ages ago.
17. "Ask neighbours if you can water their plants"
I work next to a machine shop, or at least I did before those damned Zombies... There were no plants there so it wouldn't be fun. too bad I wasn't at home, I could've asked the grow-op.
18.ask king of sweden for money:
I couldn't snag it, so I'm copying and pasting:
http://www.royalcourt.se/ovriga/contactus/sendamessage.4.396c7107359daaf480004230.html
--------------
Russell B. Grant
russbgrant@gmail.com
Dear King of Sweden.
How are you? I see you've visited Canada and are Dyslexic. I'm from CAnada and have poor spelling! I feel like we are brothers!
I was wondering, Bro, could you give me some money. Loose change would be fine. I would like to collect Swedish Money. I think you call your money crowns. If you can't send me money, a crown would be really sweet! Even a replica!
I like ducks, do you have ducks in Sweden?
I won't keep you, I'm sure your busy head chopping the peasants and other Kingly duties.
Ha Ha HAA! Just kidding, you don't actually chop off peoples heads do you?
Hope to hear from you soon!
Russ
It should be noted that thanks to crobey01, my past self realized that just an email wouldn't garner a response. Smart bugger that I am, I mailed it tomorrow. Wait till you see what they sent me a month ago!
19. "Sing We Shall Overcome Loudly"
this one came up just as I was about to practice my guitar. I didn't, and still don't know all the words to the song, nor do I know the music so I just repeatedly sang "We Shall Over Come" to numerouse songs that I do know how to play. I opened the window for maximum effect, which resulted in nothing happening.
20. "listen to a record by an artist starting with "P", loud."
Primus - Pork Soda, It's been awhile since we danced! I should llisten to this again tomorrow.
21. "open all the windows in your house"
They were open all evening. Silly task!
22. "hurt yourself"
I really needed a camera phone. I had punched myself in the head, hard, but you wouldn't believe me. Then the worst happened: Goofing off in the back warehouse, I accidently hit myself in the nuts with a cardboard box. Even though not on purpose, I'm counting it as I threw up a little bit from it.
23. "Urinate 5 times in an hour."
There's no way I can do the above, I'm just not built that way. (at this point in time I still only had the one bladder, and it wouldn't co-operate.)
24. Unplug everything but the computer.
I just couldn't do this at work. I guess I'm the benrik puss.
25. "Do Something For Peace"
A Co-Worker and I had been at each others throats that week, so I gave him a body hug with a dry hump to make things right.
Bet you wish I had a camera huh?
26. "call your name out "
done. nothing happened though.
27. "Go outside and breathe as if every breath were your last "
Done. it was nice. Too nice, so I tried breathing like I was suffocating. It was bit more interesting but not much. I tried.
Well, I see that pretty much gets my present (your present) self caught up with the site. I suppose I'll post one more update from the future in few hours once "LIVE WEEK" ends in a couple days.
Keep having fun and don't forget to sharpen up your Zombie pokin stick!
16. "drink to get drunk"
CAN'T!! he's at work and they drank all the booze on the premisis ages ago.
17. "Ask neighbours if you can water their plants"
I work next to a machine shop, or at least I did before those damned Zombies... There were no plants there so it wouldn't be fun. too bad I wasn't at home, I could've asked the grow-op.
18.ask king of sweden for money:
I couldn't snag it, so I'm copying and pasting:
http://www.royalcourt.se/ovriga/contactus/sendamessage.4.396c7107359daaf480004230.html
--------------
Russell B. Grant
russbgrant@gmail.com
Dear King of Sweden.
How are you? I see you've visited Canada and are Dyslexic. I'm from CAnada and have poor spelling! I feel like we are brothers!
I was wondering, Bro, could you give me some money. Loose change would be fine. I would like to collect Swedish Money. I think you call your money crowns. If you can't send me money, a crown would be really sweet! Even a replica!
I like ducks, do you have ducks in Sweden?
I won't keep you, I'm sure your busy head chopping the peasants and other Kingly duties.
Ha Ha HAA! Just kidding, you don't actually chop off peoples heads do you?
Hope to hear from you soon!
Russ
It should be noted that thanks to crobey01, my past self realized that just an email wouldn't garner a response. Smart bugger that I am, I mailed it tomorrow. Wait till you see what they sent me a month ago!
19. "Sing We Shall Overcome Loudly"
this one came up just as I was about to practice my guitar. I didn't, and still don't know all the words to the song, nor do I know the music so I just repeatedly sang "We Shall Over Come" to numerouse songs that I do know how to play. I opened the window for maximum effect, which resulted in nothing happening.
20. "listen to a record by an artist starting with "P", loud."
Primus - Pork Soda, It's been awhile since we danced! I should llisten to this again tomorrow.
21. "open all the windows in your house"
They were open all evening. Silly task!
22. "hurt yourself"
I really needed a camera phone. I had punched myself in the head, hard, but you wouldn't believe me. Then the worst happened: Goofing off in the back warehouse, I accidently hit myself in the nuts with a cardboard box. Even though not on purpose, I'm counting it as I threw up a little bit from it.
23. "Urinate 5 times in an hour."
There's no way I can do the above, I'm just not built that way. (at this point in time I still only had the one bladder, and it wouldn't co-operate.)
24. Unplug everything but the computer.
I just couldn't do this at work. I guess I'm the benrik puss.
25. "Do Something For Peace"
A Co-Worker and I had been at each others throats that week, so I gave him a body hug with a dry hump to make things right.
Bet you wish I had a camera huh?
26. "call your name out "
done. nothing happened though.
27. "Go outside and breathe as if every breath were your last "
Done. it was nice. Too nice, so I tried breathing like I was suffocating. It was bit more interesting but not much. I tried.
Well, I see that pretty much gets my present (your present) self caught up with the site. I suppose I'll post one more update from the future in few hours once "LIVE WEEK" ends in a couple days.
Keep having fun and don't forget to sharpen up your Zombie pokin stick!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
2006-10-26 - Blog From The Future
Wow, what a crazy end of 2006 huh? Zombie attacks?? Who would of thought it way back in October?
A bit of history. I've been slumming around the site for about 8 months, not tasking, hell, not doing anything but playing games, running up a post count into the 3K's, much to the resentment of about 95% of the membership. What can I say? I fell in love with the place! So, I ordered the 2007 diary and it arrived the week of October 23, 2006, which happened to fall in "LIVE WEEK". I decided to participate in Live week the best I could as a trial run to now, and since BENRIK seems to like to have taskers keep track of their tasking online, I figured I'd keep a run down of my "Live Week" tasks for historical purpose.
Here we go!
1. Take Caffien Pills
I had no pills, so I drank a pot of strong coffee in 10 minutes.
2. Call A Stranger Collect
tried doing 3 random collect calls to Saskatcharoonie. No one would accept though.
3. Write a letter of complaint to a newspaper
My email of complaint:
Russell Grant
to mailbag Edmonton Sun
Dear Sirs/madams,
In reading this article, it became dreadfully apparant to me that you clearly are mistaken in the case of nurses being drawn away from patient care for high profile jobs in the fast food sector. The font of the article as displayed on your website appears to be the traditional "Times New Roman", when clearly a Verdana font would be more applicable to the case at hand. I would hope that in the future when reporting on such important issues as this, you would take this into consideration instead of cheapining the positions of both parties with such a miss-treatment of fonts.
Hugs,
Russell B. Grant Esq.
4. Expose your nipple to a member of the same sex
I exposed mine to my boss while doing a sexy window dance. did I mention he was on the phone talking to the president of the company?
5. whistle while you work.
Whistled a constant in-ward/out-ward monotone for about 50minutes straight. Sore lips, watery eyes and punched shoulder resulted.
6. make your will, name benrik.
Done, but kind of dull (funeral details got chopped off a bit, they started out "head removed and stuffed with garlic, torso laid face down and staked to coffin so as not to be risen as a zombie." In hindsight with the events of Nov 25, 2006, I was pretty damned psychic with that one!):
7. "Leave Your Partner"
I was real world single, so I had to dump my Benrik lover Libertine.
8. Make up With Your Partner"
Libertine Baby! I was stupid, I should of skipped the task! Please take me back!!!
9. Take an hour long vow of silence
Failed, lasted maybe 10 minutes before I started singing to myself.
10. Have a panic attack
I'm not the panicky type so I had a shit fit. Fired off a pissed off email to head office and left a voice message on my managers phone asking him to fire me. He didn't fire me.
11. Post unflatering pic of yourself
12. Look out for evidence of angel behaviour
Watched Angel at lunch, task solved.
13. Ask a close friend for a kidney
I seem to have pissed off my closest friend. It should be interesting to see what his response is to my email query. (He said YES!!) [bites fist]
14. Throw something out the window
No windows that I can open at work, so I chucked a cardboard tube across the back alley at the "Tae Kwon Do" school across the way from the bay door. It might set up a future "get in a ninja fight" task if one should arise.
15. Don't answer the phone for an hour
The best task ever, I refused all phone calls and just let it ring, at work.
That's all I recall at this point, too much wine from New Years. As I remember more in the future I'll update this page.
Remember to keep your Zombie sticker sharp!
A bit of history. I've been slumming around the site for about 8 months, not tasking, hell, not doing anything but playing games, running up a post count into the 3K's, much to the resentment of about 95% of the membership. What can I say? I fell in love with the place! So, I ordered the 2007 diary and it arrived the week of October 23, 2006, which happened to fall in "LIVE WEEK". I decided to participate in Live week the best I could as a trial run to now, and since BENRIK seems to like to have taskers keep track of their tasking online, I figured I'd keep a run down of my "Live Week" tasks for historical purpose.
Here we go!
1. Take Caffien Pills
I had no pills, so I drank a pot of strong coffee in 10 minutes.
2. Call A Stranger Collect
tried doing 3 random collect calls to Saskatcharoonie. No one would accept though.
3. Write a letter of complaint to a newspaper
My email of complaint:
Russell Grant
to mailbag Edmonton Sun
Dear Sirs/madams,
In reading this article, it became dreadfully apparant to me that you clearly are mistaken in the case of nurses being drawn away from patient care for high profile jobs in the fast food sector. The font of the article as displayed on your website appears to be the traditional "Times New Roman", when clearly a Verdana font would be more applicable to the case at hand. I would hope that in the future when reporting on such important issues as this, you would take this into consideration instead of cheapining the positions of both parties with such a miss-treatment of fonts.
Hugs,
Russell B. Grant Esq.
4. Expose your nipple to a member of the same sex
I exposed mine to my boss while doing a sexy window dance. did I mention he was on the phone talking to the president of the company?
5. whistle while you work.
Whistled a constant in-ward/out-ward monotone for about 50minutes straight. Sore lips, watery eyes and punched shoulder resulted.
6. make your will, name benrik.
Done, but kind of dull (funeral details got chopped off a bit, they started out "head removed and stuffed with garlic, torso laid face down and staked to coffin so as not to be risen as a zombie." In hindsight with the events of Nov 25, 2006, I was pretty damned psychic with that one!):
7. "Leave Your Partner"
I was real world single, so I had to dump my Benrik lover Libertine.
8. Make up With Your Partner"
Libertine Baby! I was stupid, I should of skipped the task! Please take me back!!!
9. Take an hour long vow of silence
Failed, lasted maybe 10 minutes before I started singing to myself.
10. Have a panic attack
I'm not the panicky type so I had a shit fit. Fired off a pissed off email to head office and left a voice message on my managers phone asking him to fire me. He didn't fire me.
11. Post unflatering pic of yourself
12. Look out for evidence of angel behaviour
Watched Angel at lunch, task solved.
13. Ask a close friend for a kidney
I seem to have pissed off my closest friend. It should be interesting to see what his response is to my email query. (He said YES!!) [bites fist]
14. Throw something out the window
No windows that I can open at work, so I chucked a cardboard tube across the back alley at the "Tae Kwon Do" school across the way from the bay door. It might set up a future "get in a ninja fight" task if one should arise.
15. Don't answer the phone for an hour
The best task ever, I refused all phone calls and just let it ring, at work.
That's all I recall at this point, too much wine from New Years. As I remember more in the future I'll update this page.
Remember to keep your Zombie sticker sharp!
First Blog on Blogspot, of course it's lame.
So, I've blogged on a couple of sites in the past, and I figure it's time to wrap all those blogs into one giant awesome (for me) blog so that everything is neat and tidy in one place. My idea probably wont work since I plan to literally copy those other blogs here, and most of the links probably wont work. Bugger it, I'm going to try!
So yeah, this will be old news for the foreseeable future until I'm caught up at which point it will become the embarrassing online diary that no one wants.
YAY!
So yeah, this will be old news for the foreseeable future until I'm caught up at which point it will become the embarrassing online diary that no one wants.
YAY!
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